cant hardly wait

this is how i spent most of my summer. it did help me keep my sanity and once again writing is the only thing that seems to root me in the earth when i feel my mind floating away. i want to to change the world, you ever get that feeling like your this close to a revolution and the key lies in your own motivation? that's how i feel, i feel like I'm at the point where i need to stop THINKING bout how much i wanna change the world and just go ahead and start small. little at a time. i was watching a film in my favorite class (humanities) called "little ashes", and one of the main characters said something that sparked a fire in my heart, he said "i want to go above and beyond in everything i do, in life in everything.... we must be brave..." stuck in my mind and its been adding to the fuel for quite some time. and i keep wonder if I'm being brave enough. and if I'm going to answer that truthfully then hell no i have not!!!! i am still wearing a mask, still faking till the lights go out, and i don't want to do it anymore. I MUST BE BRAVE!!!!!!! i must be bold and even though i may be scared shit less that fear could cost me everything, and I'm not willing to do that again. i want to be this generation's surrealist leader. i want to cut open the eyes of the people with a dirty razor and infect their sights with something meaningful. the blood of rebels has been dripping into mine and its boiling, bubbling, pusing, and spilling over, and i can feel that single match warming me in the snow. and i want everyone to feel this same beastly desire to want, to need, to automatically feel as if nothing can keep us from change. And we must not stop at spitting out the usual sayings, think of the worst things, the things people do not discuss and feed into that open our mouths and the blood will pour from it. but cover our mouths and we will look down to find that our mouths are gone ad so are the voices we took for granted. i wish to shock to world, i wish for my words to strike emotions into people, i want the images i say to burn into your brains as if i have branded my initials onto your chests and your skins screams my name. be brave with me step into the ring of fire and dance the dance of freedom. there is something in the blood, something in the mind, something in the dance, and i want it all the posses me to take over my body and make me what it wants me to be.