he's really not making this easy for me. i need space and he's scooting clooser! im at the point where im just getting use to beig alone and learning to accept being single. one of my greatest fer is being alone but that is something i am prepared to admit and thats probably why i keep so many useless conquests around me so i wont hav time enough to actually stop and realize this. this particular young man is becoming a bit of hand full, partly because i did not even see it comin but i thought it would be fun and im not the one to pass up a bit of fun if it presents itsself. only his intentions are so trasperant that im getting annoyed at how quickly the fun has ended. he claims to be involved with some one yet his plays this ole as the nice guys with all the right motives.. i mean honsetly who does he think he's kidding. and i make a habit of bring the subject up because i want his to kniw tht i am completely aware of his situation and he keeps feeding me bullshit talikg about he wants "desire and passion" well call the one you are involved with and tell her that! who ever she is she deseves a fighting chance ans i will not be the reason that she does not ger it. i remember how hwe used to talk about the girls he pursuied in high school and he made them seem soo dumb and willing tomake themselves look stupid to be honset even in high school i thought he was a bit of an asshole any way and i will nver completely trus him or his intentions and he knows this. im not perfect and i know this but i dont want this kind of energy in my life and sadly he must go. he will never be nothing more than a friend to me and he dosent seem to get that. wat he needs to do is fix his realationship or decisde if it is even woth the energy he is obveously not putting into it anyway.
there is some else i am waiting to be ready. he's great and has a kind heart it seaps thurough even when he's not trying. it took me quite a while to actually do so mcuch as to say hi. but when i finally did it was ood to know that he at least knew who i was. i remember the xact day i saw him. i was standing in line at the book store and e cut infront of me, i wasnt looking but when he spoke i looked up and my breat literally went away. he was something right out of ma deepest drams like i'd seem his face before. of coure the encouter only lasted a few seconds bu thta was enough for me. it took weeks for me to say hi and after that i perceeded to continue with short friendly conversatios, anything to talk to him. even after we were well on out way to friendship it still took me days to just ask him for his FB page lol. i think he already knew but like i said he was just that nice that he was patient with me. finally i got the balls to gice him my number over FB of course lol (i know vey hilarious). he is suffering from the came sickness that i am: a broken crippled heart. who ever he was with first did a number on him i thinks thats what makes him so beautiful to me the fact that the same xact thing that happend to him happened to me and its like our hearts are unknowingly tied by the same pain. he is not willing to b in a relationship rite now and i completely understand thats xctly how i feel rite now. we are in a way waiting on each other to heal. with him its like baby steps and im okay with it. this is giving us a chance to learn eachother before we risk anything. its like we are bth making sure not to get hurt and in turn helping eachothr heal... its a good feeling to know that someone else outthere has the dame fellings and valuses that i do. he's a nice guy and i cnt wait to learn more about him and discover what makes him who he is inside...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment